Rants, Reviews, Reflections
  • About
  • Rants
  • Reviews
  • Reflections
  • Diary
  • My Boys Said That

masterchef goes little - from March 2021

11/11/2021

0 Comments

 
Do you remember, dear readers, the reboot of this in 2005? I sure as heckfire do. To be honest, I don’t recall much, except that the splendid Thomasina Miers won it and the fact they’d tacked ‘Goes Large’ to the title, in a misguided bid for the yoof vote, I’d imagine.
Now, it’s very different. My son has put an embargo on me referring to now as ‘these strange times’: the phrase that pops up in every conversation, email, Zoom meet (how we’ve changed!); that permeates wistful glances through plastic shields in shops and to fellow comrades on the street, as if we’re in a never ending Orwellian masked ball, albeit a Poundland version.
Where was I? Oh yes, Masterchef. My point is, it’s shrunk quite considerably. Hasn’t trended on Twitter yet, but maybe that’ll happen when more knives come out. Where we once had three past champs (oft including a mere finalist) to impress with fondants, jus and the like, now it’s only two and they’re all bona fide winners.
The fleet of critics, sabre teeth rattling, are no more, just The Grace Dent coming to sample their puds. I add ‘The’ in because she has a shade of the diva about her, although nowhere near the horrifying level of The GC. And you know there ain’t gonna be any restaurant kitchens upcoming - not a bad thing in my eyes, it increasingly looked like a PR exercise for the establishment, where head chefs tried to outdo Ramsay with their shouting.
Anywhere, there I go, rushing ahead to the end in my undisciplined ‘not strange times’ disorderly fashion. Torode (Toady) and Wallace (Shrek) are still there, although surely you’d think there’d be a limit to the amount of buttery biscuit bases you could get excited by. There used to be an element of Jack Sprat and his wife in their appearances, now….let’s just say some people have been sampling more in lockdown than others. Not Shrek though. He’s still a boiled egg, but a streamlined one, with natty plum waistcoat to prove it and a predilection for saying ‘HowEVer’ every five seconds, as if he’s a doc delivering a bad diagnosis, rather than commenting on some mash.
So, a parade of panna cottas later and early promise faded for Mike and Ross. Why is there an insistence on the wobble factor for this unappealing looking blancmange-y type thing (which I think they both delivered, but my soggy-bottomed brain can’t really recall)? My chum Saul, who joins me in a text-a-thon throughout (I’ve nicked some of his lines), and is the reason why I can remember anything about it all, claims they must wobble ‘because Charles Campion RIP said so’. Surely all food wobbles as it goes down your gullet…?
Tom has already set out his stall as Winner. I suspect he’s been taking online lessons and reading every recipe under the sun this last year. Not cheating as such, just Boy Scout preparedness, but just not cricket, old son.
Episode Two brought a colourful bunch, who you could definitely see fronting a rebooted Rainbow or maybe even occupying the Teletubbies skins. Gary’s trousers were just too much, sapping all rational thought from his cranium.
So, onto the Friday eliminator. In The GD sails, always positioning herself as if there were a bejillion paps present, rather than Toady, Shrek and four nervous hopefuls. Puddings today, and it was Battle Royale with the Sticky Toffee. Steph’s perfectly decent one failed only cos there was better in the room, nowt wrong with it at all. Tom’s was allegedly brilliant, despite looking like part of Sydney Opera House had landed on it in tuile form. And then, both Laura and Madeeha got through. We could see that coming, the element of surprise has long since gone for this puppy, but they were charmingly astonished. They wanted to hug, but instead had to awkwardly grin at each other, as if at their first teenage party. Strange times for them, clearly.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    reviews..
    pretty explanatory really. Mostly TV.

    Archives

    December 2021
    November 2021
    June 2020
    April 2020
    February 2020
    December 2019
    August 2019
    April 2019
    January 2019
    September 2018
    August 2018
    June 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    September 2017
    February 2016

    Categories

    All
    Amanda Seyfried
    Andrew Scott
    BBc
    Britney Spears
    Bros
    Celebrity Masterchef
    Christopher Biggins
    Coupling
    David Tennant
    Documentary
    Fame
    Fans
    Fleabag
    Frances McDormand
    Gemma Collins
    Hadley Freeman
    Hair
    Hollywood
    ITV2
    Jaffa
    James Norton
    Kristin Scott Thomas
    Ladybird
    Laurie Metcalf
    Love Island
    Masterchef
    Michael Sheen
    Monty Panesar
    Motherland
    Music
    Oscars
    Poldark
    Reality Tv
    Saoirse Ronan
    Spencer Matthews
    Staged
    The Archers
    Trump
    War And Peace

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • About
  • Rants
  • Reviews
  • Reflections
  • Diary
  • My Boys Said That